{Theme Thursday} Cold {Third Person Thursday}

Joining Kelly at This Ain't the Lyceum for a little Third Person Thursday and Mary Kate at Why, yes, I AM crazy who's filling in for Cari at Clan Donaldson  on this Theme Thursday.



"These people are crazy", she thought.  Annery sat at her computer, finally taking the time to post an entry on what was quickly becoming her favorite blogging day.  Talking in the third person and sharing pictures?  That ranked as two fun challenges and Annery was FINALLY taking a break to join the fun.  Well, right after she figures out what' going on in the kitchen with the 8 y/o using the soap grater to grate cheese on her taco....or maybe she doesn't want to know.  Ignorance is bliss, after all.

It's been a long week.  Annery can feel an ache radiating from each joint.  Days of moving boxes, patching cracks, waterproofing and painting has begun to take its toll on Annery's energy, as well as her patience.

The basement crew comes on Monday to reinforce all four basement walls.  In the time before they arrive, Annery has become determined to patch and waterproof while there's still access to the entire wall.  This would have been a great plan if she'd thought of it four months ago when the crew was scheduled.  Maybe even three months ago when she started moving stuff around the basement to make room for the crew's work.  Even two weeks ago would've been genius compared to the self-imposed madness of this week.

It all started with the playroom.  Annery surveyed the space and decided it would be fun to have a bright wall color.  Then she realized the large plates to stabilize the wall would be hard to paint around, then she thought about how those plates would have space behind them that wasn't waterproofed.  Her house is truly the "If You Give a Pig a Pancake" of projects.  There's always something that needs to be done just so she can get to the project at hand.

And that's how she found herself in her paint clothes Monday morning.

 Annery filled in all the multitude of cracks she just seemed to be noticing.  The walls began to take on a strange pattern all their own.

 Convinced the house was moments away from falling in around her, Annery let the wall set overnight.

Tuesday morning, the wall was still there.  Chagrined and relived in near-equal measures, Annery began painting on the gritty, hard to work with, waterproofing paint.  "No wonder it waterproofs", she thought, "it's cement - I'm painting on a NEW WALL!"

Wednesday morning brought a trip to the hardware store.  Well, more accurately, two trips to the hardware store.  The second trip resulted in Little Bean choosing a color for the basement walls.  Well, Annery told her a shade of orange or yellow were her choices.

Satisfied with her work in one corner, Annery decided the rest of the basement needed at least patching and waterproofing before the basement crew arrives, so she knows the craziness will be continuing until Monday morning when the crew arrives.  Not to worry, at least her husband is gone all weekend at a gaming convention.  *sigh*  Little Bean is going to earn her keep as big sister entertainment for Sweet Pea this weekend.

After a long week, Annery reached Thursday morning.  It hit her too early with a pre-dawn trip to the gym.

She was less than enthusiastic about leaving the house so early, especially since it was COLD, and especially when there are words like "wind chill" being thrown about, making the air that much more artic.

{Theme Thursday} Thumb {Third Person Thursday}

Joining Kelly at This Ain't the Lyceum (because, really, how could you not follow along with a name like that!?) for a little Third Person Thursday and Cari at Clan Donaldson (who has a book that will be on my doorstep no later than 8pm Saturday, Amazon promises!) for Theme Thursday.



3:06, she has a little longer to sleep.  4:54, nearly time, but not quite.  Annery rolls over again and looks through sleep-blurred eyes, 5:05.  Close enough.  She creeps from her bed, anxious not to wake her husband.  His alarm won't go off until 6:00.  By then, she'll be a sweaty mess.

Slowly, slowly, she turns the handle of their bedroom door.  The ancient door groans a little as she pulls it closed behind her.  It has to be shut tight, or the light might creep in.  Across the hall, the girls are still asleep.  To ensure they stay that way, Annery closes the bathroom door behind her before switching on the light.

Gym clothes lay in a pile next to the potty chair, ready for a brutal start to the day.  Peeling off pajamas and preparing to face the day, Annery glances the strange arrangement of hair staring back at her in the mirror.  "It's too early for this", she thinks.

Still, the goals and plans she's made force her into workout gear.  A quick step on the scale reveals that she's still not losing weight.  She gives herself a pep-talk about the 15 inches she's lost and the muscle she's gained.  Time to lace up the gym shoes. 

5:35, bracing against the cold Midwestern morning, she silently thanks God that her windows aren't frosted over.  There's no time for that.  The streets are dark.  Few cars on the roads and fewer people running.  That one lone runner seems crazy.  At least she'll be inside.  If only her car would warm up faster.

5:45, Annery steps out of her car, mostly dreading the grueling hour she's about to face.  Still, she feels so accomplished when it's over.  It's a new circuit, full of exercises that seem to have been designed by Jillian Michaels on a crabby day.  Jacob's Ladder, sled pushes, lunges, jumping....Annery isn't sure where to start.  Everything seems equal amounts of awful. 

6:50, she's a pool of sweat as she crawls into her car.  It doesn't matter if the car is cold.  It doesn't matter if the air blowing out isn't hot.  She can barely make her muscles depress the pedals as she heads home.  The sun is creeping up the horizon.  "At least that's something", she thinks.

7:00, home again.  Each stair to the door tests her ability to walk.  In the door and she's greeted by a husband nearly ready to head off to work and a 1 y/o determined to climb her legs before her gyms shoes come off.  Annery manages to break away from the little leg-climber long enough to toss jacket and shoes in her bedroom.  Then she's on the couch, sweaty and red-faced, holding Sweet Pea. 

Holding her phone in one hand and Sweet Pea in the other, Annery checks her email, relieved no new work messages have come across in the two hours since she last checked it.  A quick check of Facebook shows a few good blog posts to read.  As Annery checks out the latest news from This Ain't the Lyceum, Clan Donaldson and Call Her Happy, she decides on her post for the day.  She even finds a picture to go along with the theme.

Then Annery opens her copy of Small Steps for Catholic Moms that she won at Revolution of Love.  The day's passage seems especially poignant, and she snaps a quick shot on her phone to share.  As she reviews the shot, she notices her thumb poking out in the bottom of the frame.  Not the picture she had planned, but perhaps an even better shot.

Thank God from whom all blessings flow

7:30, a sneeze announces that Little Bean is awake.  Couch snuggles with the baby are over.  Time to start the day.  Breakfast, shower, dishes, laundry, work, schooling, they all await.  A blog post will sneak into the mix.  After all, Annery likes writing far more than dishes and laundry, but slightly less than eating or a really hot shower.  Maybe Little Bean will do the dishes while Annery folds laundry.  Maybe Annery will find a burst of productivity and it will all get done.

9:15, only the pleasant things like eating and hot showers are crossed off the list.  Annery finishes up a third-person post and sighs.  No more putting it off; she has to start the laundry and get to work.  Well, right after she changes that horrible smell coming from Sweet Pea.

{Theme Thursday} Scary

This week's theme is Scary, and as tempted as I am to post a selfie before my morning ablutions, I think I'll pass on that kind of online glory :)

So, how about a little bit of supervised knife-play:

My nephews and Hubby preparing their strategies

Four giant pumpkins

Stabbing repeatedly

Children with serrated knives

Pausing his call to get to work

Four kids with knives, where should I worry first?

Ok, maybe with that little crazy in the back there

Or maybe with the guy who got out power tools

We survived!

 This morning, I was up bright and early with this little treasure....

So I made this

And, the piece de resistance....playing with flash, shadow, shutter speed...I captured a "scary" face from Sweet Pea.

She just heard words that scare her, nap time!

Stop by Clan Donaldson for more scary fun!

{WWRW} 20 and Counting

Because things aren't going very well lately, I've been watching perhaps a little TOO much TV.  When I say perhaps, just trust me, it's actually WAY too much. 

One of the newer shows added to my online/tv subscription service was 19 Kids and Counting.  There were approximately 100 new-to-me 20 minute shows available to watch.  Over the course of the last month, I've watched nearly all of them.....I think I have 2 left. 

Over the last month, I've been reminded of the truth that we get out what we put in.  Watching Michelle Duggar speak kindly and patiently to her children started rubbing off.  Being more prayerful and reflective started to seep in.  I found myself speaking more kindly to my children.  I could hear her kind voice re-directing a child in the back of my mind from the numerous episodes I'd watched. 

As I noticed her ability to act and speak with kindness to her children and her constant love and enthusiasm for her husband, I became a little more curious about her story.  So, last week, I picked up a copy of 20 and Counting from my local library....they're thrifty enough I THINK they'd appreciate that :)


The book was a neat insight into who they are and how they've grown and changed over the years.  Their family is undoubtedly recognizable because of its size, but I think they also exude some of that grace that the world is looking for. 

The story of their openness to children comes from a place of loss.  Michelle miscarried their second child, in part because of the birth control she took.  After that loss, they turned over their fertility to God.  That they are so well known is a resounding reminder of how scarce this view is in the world today.  They see children as a blessing, only always a blessing.  They have quotes from Mother Teresa in their book and adorning their walls that I catch sight of every now and then in an episode.  They teach their children to have a "servant's heart".  They are open to God's will for their family.

In their book, they talk about struggles, including five children in a two bedroom house, a robbery and the building of their current house.  It's truly an inspiring thing to witness this family.  Michelle is also very quick to point out how much love and support they've had from those around them.  If only I could find a little old church lady who just loved folding laundry too.....alas. 

Definitely worth the read to see how such a counter-culture family has made such an impact on the hearts of many simply by doing their best to be open to what they believe to be God's will for their family.

Check out Housewife Spice for more books to add to your list!

Dear God - Why?

Remember back when I was having good days?  Right now, it seems like a lot more of stupid things making me cry.  This week has been crushingly difficult.  There's really nothing I can point to as the cause....you know, other than that whole losing a kid thing.  Maybe it's the visit increase.  We went from Wednesday - Saturday with bio-parent to Wednesday - Monday with bio-parent.  So now, before she's gone for good, I have just a few more Tuesdays with her.

I don't get to see her in her Halloween costume this year, in fact, the visit change came with so little warning, I didn't have time to take her to the park for pictures like I've done every year.  I cried while putting her costume in her visit backpack.  I cried when we had to reschedule her dentist appointment...and I realized I just don't have enough time with her to be the one who reschedules.  I'm ignoring thoughts of Thanksgiving and Christmas right now. 

I'm an angry mess right now.  Sunday night, as I tried to drift off to sleep, I just had a moment where I prayed:

Dear God,

Why?  Why so much pain?  Why can't it be over yet?  I am at my end.  This is as far as I can walk.  I have nothing left to give.  I am broken, worn out, overrun.  There is nothing left in me.  You're going to have to carry me the rest of the way, or here I shall stay.  Whatever you're calling us to through and after this, maybe it could be not so heart-breaking.  I'm done, I'm done, I'm done.

Then I cried myself to sleep.   I slept the whole night through without dreams, until just as I was waking.  There were children everywhere.  They were surrounding me.  I felt overwhelmed.  Then I found a baby boy in a car.  He'd been left in there, no diaper, his legs covered with scrapes and scabs...he'd obviously been abused.  I felt every protective instinct inside of me spring into action.  This would never happen to him again, I would make sure.

I awoke, and I saw how very little my pain weighs next to the balance of what we've given Sweet Baby.  This is still a tremendous loss.  Right now, every day feels like an agony and adding on a single extra thing to my schedule feels overwhelming.  But really, how could I not have protected and guarded her these last 2 1/2 years?

So maybe that's why.  She needed us.  It doesn't make the pain of losing her less, but it makes it more bearable.

I wish I just had fun pictures of the kids in their Halloween costumes to post today, but that's not where we're at in our lives right now.

A few months ago, I signed up for a retreat this Saturday.  If folding clothes and picking up toys turn into sob-fests, I'm thinking maybe I should pack a box of tissues for a day of introspection!

Your prayers are so appreciated.  I'm certain it is only by grace I'm able to function at the 60-70% I seem to be capable of these days.  Thank you for sharing in our burden as we walk this road.  Thank you for hugs, smiles, silly things that make me laugh, and just being a part of our lives right now.  Especially because I know I'm really not that likeable right now.  So, thank you.

{WIWS} Race Day

So, last week, I kept meaning to get WIWS posted....didn't happen.  Linking up with Fine Linen and Purple for What I Wore Sunday....and the Sunday before.

Sunday, October 20th

Shirt:  Resale shop
Linen Pants:  Old Navy
Earrings:  Dillards

Sunday, October 27th

Shirt:  Lane Bryant - given to me by a friend
Pants:  Old Navy
Shoes: (not pictured - very sensible Land's End black shoes)
Necklace:  Kohl's

I'm having a hard time picking out outfits now that the cold weather is upon us.  I have lots of pairs of dress pants, but I'm at a weird, in between sizes stage as I (still) struggle to lose the baby weight from that cute 16 m/o.  Right now, I'm in between my bigger and smaller sized pants, so it's kind of clothing limbo that results in this.....

The aftermath of trying on every pair of dress pants I own

I think maybe I need to find some cute Fall/Winter dresses that I can wear with boots and leggings and start giving that style a try....at least until I'm out of pants limbo.

From this weekend, a few pictures of my latest fitness adventure that has resulted in being in between pant sizes for now, a 5K trail run my sisters, a friend and I did this Saturday.

Sweet Pea and I, ready to run

A friend and I waiting to start

The whole gang

Finished!

Notice the parrot eating a cookie, Polly wants a cookie, not a cracker :)

So, the weight struggle still continues.  I've lost a couple pounds, but I measured myself this week and over the last three months, I've lost 15 inches total.  It's always slower than I would like, but my body IS changing.  I'm getting stronger and stronger.  Based on the fluctuations my weight has done up and down the scale the last few months, I'd guess I've probably put on almost 10 lbs of muscle....which makes me feel a little like I started with none, but it's showing me that there ARE results happening.  So maybe I  CAN do this. 

Still praying for another little baby soon, but working hard right now to make it a strong and healthy place for that baby in the meantime.

Stop by Fine Linen and Purple for more WIWS.

{Three Reasons} Second Edition

Linking up with Micaela for my one of my favorite things:  3 Reasons I Love Catholicism. 

I love this link-up because it's such a reaffirming and positive thing to take a few moments to really reflect on why I love my faith.

Because I do.  Sometimes it seems like I'm spending so much time in the role of defender, I forget to be a giddy proclaimer of the joy, truth and beauty of the Church.  It's like a love affair when you're in the trenches of every day life, sometimes you have to step back and take that breather to remember why you're so madly in love :)

{1}

Heritage

 

 My faith has been passed down in my family.  My father and mother frequently attended daily mass as we were growing up and I spent from the age of 2 to present day singing on occasion with my father at mass or holy hours.  Dad is a deacon in the Catholic Church.  

Being a motley mix of cultures, the Catholicism is the real culture of my family.  In April 2004, my father officiated my wedding.  In July 2005 and July 2012, he baptized Little Bean and Sweet Pea, respectively.  In May 2013, another precious moment of passing on the faith was when my father got to distribute Little Bean's First Holy Communion.  Handing down the faith, what a beautiful thing.

{2}

Tradition

Just think about the Mass.  I've attended in different languages and still known what was going on....maybe the homily was a little less meaningful, but really, you can attend Mass in any corner of the world and be celebrating a tradition that has been passed down through the ages.  

The Sign of the Cross, the Rosary, so many prayers that we have passed down over time.  There's such a richness in our tradition.  

The vestments, the candles, the incense....the ceremony of it all.  So beautiful, so universal.  Such a heritage we have to carry on.

(3)

Catechism

Got a question?  Don't know what the Church's teachings are?  You can look it up!  Es claro!  It is what it is.  You can know exactly what we profess.  How amazing to have a manual all broken down by section and subject that lays it all out.  In knowing the teachings, we can profess our faith so much more profoundly because we know EXACTLY what we're signed up for.....and that's a beautiful thing.