Going Under the Laser

I've been working with a NaPro doctor for a couple years now. 

I've had panels of blood draws, glucose tests, thyroid tests, diet changes. 

I've recently even lost about 35 (!) pounds. 

However, on June 5th, I turned 35, and the volume on my internal clock has become less like listening to the end of an egg timer and more like standing inside Big Ben at midnight. 

Added to that, I've been having some pains I'd like to have investigated, so, I made the trek back down to my doctor. 

When I met with her, she told me I've done the medical side and what remained is the (gulp) surgical side. 

My next best course of treatment is exploratory laparoscopy. They'll put me under, make a few small incisions and poke around looking for cysts, fibroids, endometriosis, anything that could explain this unexplained infertility and pains. 

Since my doctor told me ago, I've been living with varying levels of anxiety. From full blown panic to a low grade hum in the background. 

Now, it's time for surgery. Tomorrow (Wednesday) morning, I'll be getting up bright and early for my husband to drive us down to the surgical center two hours away, sitting in prep for two hours, and then having surgery for however long it takes to fix or repair as best she can whatever is going on inside. 

I've run the full gambit of worst case scenarios. There's a little echo on my ears of the doctor telling me that, as with any surgery, there's a risk of death.  However unlikely, the words are spinning on repeat in the back of my head. 

There's also a niggling fear over why I've been having pains. Cysts? Fibroids? Something worse?

In all likelihood, I'll be uncomfortable for a few days and hopefully have more answers than before. I've been put under general anesthesia a few times and it's always been fine. 

As I was reflecting on it all, it occurred to me that my husband really has the worst end of this. I'm going to go to sleep and it'll all be over when I wake up. My husband, on the other hand, has to watch them wheel me away, wait as they do surgery and then wait to be let into the recovery room. 

Waiting is harder than doing. At least it always has been for me. 

So tomorrow, please keep my husband in your prayers as he waits. 

What's Up Doc?

Talking hormone crashes and mood swings today =D

Last cycle, I had a bad reaction to my hcg injections - an entire day of morning sickness type symptoms before the onset of my new cycle.  It was a really rough, emotionally draining day.

I don't have to tell anyone who's been hoping for a new baby what it is to spend any amount of time thinking you might be pregnant, only to have your new cycle start approximately 3.2 seconds after finally taking the pregnancy test.  Rough, friends.  Rough.

It just cracked me last month.  So much so that I called my NaPro doctor immediately for a consult.  And I'm such a non-interventionist that I really veer more towards not calling when I should....so bad.

Today, I made the four hour round trip to go see my specialist.  We reviewed my hormone levels and decided that a switch from hcg to straight progesterone was warranted.  Turns out, my estradiol was perhaps too high to have hcg be an effective option, so the hope is that oral progesterone (YAY! NO MORE NEEDLES! For now at least.) will do the trick and create a better balance - and fewer side effects.

Aside from the awesomeness of switching from an injection to a pill, that pill costs about 20% of what the injections did, so yay for cost savings!

After some additional talking, my doctor felt that a blood draw to check my thyroid was in order.  Apparently, you shouldn't have to exercise two hours a day to lose any weight?  Is this true?  Who can verify?!  :)

So, right before lunch, on an empty stomach, I had a couple vials of blood drawn.  My face must have shown that the draw made me a little woozy, because the poor sweet nurse was very solicitous. 

Hoping for more answers.  Honestly, a poor test result would be a blessing just to have something to pin this conundrum on.  Seven to ten business days and I should have an answer either way.  Whether that leads to more testing or a treatment plan remains to be seen.

The other bonus:  progesterone is naturally anti-depressant/anti-anxiety, so I'm hoping I'll be back to feeling like my old self again after the rollercoaster of grief and hormonal substitutions.

In related news - 4 of the 5 women I prayed for at the relics of St. Gianna are pregnant! (I'd the be fifth and non-preggo.)  I told my mom that St. Gianna's success rate of 80% is a totally respectable number :)

Happy to have more answers today.  Hopeful that new protocols will yield a happier, more energetic me.  Balanced hormones make a world of difference.