Our Story: 10 Years Ago Today

Ten years ago today, something new was made.  With family and friends looking on, two became one.

I cried my whole way through my vows.  When I listened to the video later, it sounded like I was laughing.....

My father, a deacon in the Catholic Church, officiated the wedding.

....after he walked me down the aisle :)

I was so excited to walk down that aisle.

...and even more excited to be married.

We were surrounded by family and friends.

....and my brothers took good care of tradition.

There have been difficult days, months, and even years.  We have been stretched past the breaking point more than once, with only that promise we made keeping things together.  But the hard-earned truth I have learned is that the better is better when you've made it through the worse together.

This is our life.  One or both of us could have thrown in the towel more than once.  But, we promised not to.  We made more than a contract, we made a covenant.  We celebrated a sacrament.  An oath that we will live out the rest of our lives.  And our lives are better for the covenant.  We've built everything together.

We married young-ish.  I was 22, Hubby was 26.  We didn't wait until we'd established careers or had a house.  We moved in together after we got back from the honeymoon.

Everything we have, we've done together.  Our house.

Our children.

Our love.

Marriage can be hard.  But it's worth fighting for.  Because it is so good.  Forming a life from the ground up together is so good.  Raising beautiful, crazy, sarcastic, creative children together is so good.

Ten years ago, I made a good choice.  Every day, I get up in the morning and try to make good on that choice.  I choose to love and serve, honor and obey.  Not so simple, but oh so beautiful.  

A few days ago, I linked up with Kendra for Answer Me This.  The question about the piece of random advice got me thinking about wedding advice.

My mom's marriage advice:  Never marry someone who you don't want to have kids just like.

My dad's marriage advice:  Pick a winner and then be his cheerleader.  (He followed that up with, you've picked a winner, now just be his cheerleader.)

I believe, from many I've talked to lately, that marriage is under attack.  Everyday and big stresses seem to be directly attacking the framework of our lives.  Evil seeks to destroy what is good and many of us have felt that friction and pressure in our marriages of late.  Those little annoyances (or big stresses) are turning us against each other, when really, we should be striving even more to unite in those moments.

The first step in battle is to know your enemy.  Look at your beloved.  He is not the enemy.  That division comes from within your heart.  That anger boiling inside you may indeed be righteous, but pray for compassion.  Acknowledge your own failings.  Forgive wrongs done against you.  In all things, pray.  If you have only anger to offer up, offer up your anger.  Dwija shared many beautiful and heartbreaking stories of those who could use our prayers right now.

As we look forward to the Resurrection with great expectation, take a moment to thank God for not only the greatest blessing of His Only Son, but for the beautiful wisdom and planning for our sanctification through our spouses.  That guy snoring and keeping you awake?  He's your road to Heaven.  Tread lightly and with love.

To my husband on our anniversary,

I'm glad it's you.  I'm so glad I said "yes", and then "I do".  I'm so glad you've never quit on me when I've been more than anyone should have to tolerate.  And I'm glad I haven't quit on you when you've been the same.  I'm glad this is what my life looks like, and it's exciting to know we have, God willing, so many more years ahead of us to keep writing this story.

That cliched meme is right, of all the love stories, ours is my favorite.  Because it's real, it's us, and no one could write it but you and me.

Love, 

Your wife

Answer Me This {Vol 1}

Linking up with Kendra of Catholic All Year for Answer Me This!

 












1.  What time do you prefer to go to Mass?

11 am.  I like to sleep in....hopefully until at least 7am.  Then, I lounge with the kids, or maybe go for a jog with one in tow:

After mass, we have a standing invitation to my parents' house for lunch, where I visit with my many siblings and their families.



2.  Would you rather be too hot or too cold?

TOO HOT.  ALWAYS TOO HOT.  Unless I'm pregnant....then hot makes me angry.

June 2012 - 40 weeks...that smile looks to be part sneer

3.  How many brothers/sisters do you have?

Eight siblings total - 2 older brothers, 5 younger sisters, 1 younger brother.

Family vacation in 2012 - 3 weeks after one of my sister and I had babies!

4.  If you were faced with a boggart, what would it turn into?

Step 1:  Google "What is a boggart?"
Step 2:  Realize that you weren't really paying attention to that whole Harry Potter deal
Step 3:  Think about all of your worst fears
Step 4:  Continue to think about everything that gives you anxiety for the rest of the day trying to determine what could possibly be the worst
Step 5:  Deadbolt all the doors, look under you car when you walk towards it, and install lojack on the kids

My greatest fear is probably physical violence/malevolence against myself or family.  Sleepy time happy time for sure tonight! 



5.  Barbie:  thumbs up or thumbs down?

LB has Barbies, so I guess I've already given the thumbs up to Barbies.  They've presented the opportunity for discussions about modesty because Barbie doesn't wear certain outfits she may have come with.

Barbie also strikes me as a lesser evil compared to Monster High and Bratz.  My daughter also isn't very consumed with personal appearance.  I think if that was maybe a struggle for her, I might be more mindful of even the Barbies.  She's just not that into them and she's told me that she's "not really a fashion girl, [she's] an action girl".  You go action girl! 



6.  If someone asked you to give them a random piece of advice, what would you say?

Pay attention to right now.  Stop tweeting.  Stop updating.  Take a few pictures, but mostly just live it.  I'm working on this piece of advice myself.

Put the phone back down after you snap the shot

{7QTs} Picture Edition

I got a new camera as an early Mother's Day present (a Canon, EOS Rebel T3).  It's awesome and I love it.  I have not spent nearly enough time playing with settings to coax the quality of images the camera is capable of.  However, I've yet to share a picture taken with it, so here are 7 quick pics:

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Linking up with Conversion Diary for 7 Quick Takes :)

Das Liebster

Nominated by Laura over at String of Pearls. (thanks Laura!)



Here are my questions to answer:

1. Do you have a favorite saint with whom you feel a special kinship? (Who is it, and why?)

As we approach Easter, I'm contemplating the beauty of Veronica.  She's always struck me as such a special saint to have the courage to minister to Jesus on his way of the cross.

As far as a family saint, I feel a special bond with soon-to-be St. John Paul II.  I received a blessing from him in 2001 and have felt that blessing throughout the last many years.  Our little Mara was due on the day he passed in October.

2. Do you have a "bucket list"?  (And if so, what's the first item on the list?)

I don't have a bucket list.  I have goals for my life, but there's no list.  I'll try to be who I should be today and I'll get as far as I get, I suppose.

3. Where is your favorite place to swim: a heated pool, a freshwater lake, or the ocean?

Elk Rapids, Michigan, at Veteran's park beach.  Preferably in late July or early August when the water has warmed.

4. What are three words that describe you?  (Sorry--I hate it when people ask me questions like that.)

I would like the words to be faithful, trusting, and generous.  I'm somewhere between anxious and frenetic right now.

5. Are you fluent in a second language?

Nein. Non. No.  I have learned Spanish and French in years past and am currently trying to learn some basic German before a summer trip.

6. Do you like to travel, or are you more of a homebody?

I like traveling, hate packing and unpacking.

7. What's your all-time favorite book (if you can name just one; if not, how about your three favorites)?

I love to read conversion stories.  

8. Do you love to cook (or would you rather eat out and have someone else do it)?

If someone will do the dishes, I'll make anything you want.

9. If you could only have one dessert for the rest of your life (a horrible prospect, I know!), what would you choose?

Cheesecake.

10. Is there a particular work of Catholic art that is your favorite?  (Share the image with us, if you can.)

I love images of Mary as a young mother.

11. What inspired you to begin your blog?

I almost died on March 1, 2010 from an ectopic rupture.  That experience left me with the realization that I had not documented my memories, joys, and sorrows in any format my daughter could read when she got older to learn about me.  So I started blogging.  I share pictures, struggles and joys from my life.  In addition to capturing some of who I am for my daughters, I've gained so much from a wonderful community.

The rules of the award are that I should now tag 11 other bloggers.  However, I've been down and out for the last couple days, so I'm totally out of it on who has already done this.  So, if you haven't been tagged, please, please, PLEASE, take this as your invitation to share about your wonderful self.

Please comment with your link below so I can enjoy reading all about you.  And, if you've kept better track than me, tag 11 other bloggers to answer your 11 questions.

Here's what I'm curious to know:

1.  How many siblings do you have?  (I have 8!)
2.  What time of day works best for your prayer/alone time?
3.  Have you endured the Winter Without End too?
4.  If you live somewhere warm, how do you feel about me visiting?
5.  Do you sleep under blankets all year?  Even in the sweltering summer?
6.  Do your kids (or you) eat sugary cereal? (Or am I the only one that lets that happen?)
7.  Do you have any food allergies in your family? What helped you best in learning to cope?
8. What's your favorite blog post of someone else's?
9.  What's your favorite blog post of your own?
10.  What would be your ideal birthday present?
11.  Would you rather be surrounded by others without a break or alone all day?

{Theme Thursday} Remember

When you've lost a child, there are things you hold on to.  The crayon markings on the wall I haven't cleaned off because Sweet Baby made them.  The pregnancy test from the baby that died at 7 weeks gestation. 

Even the marks that Mara left on my body from the emergency surgery to save my life; these are things I hold on to.  That I look at and remember; I am changed because of this.

But, sometimes, it's all too easy for me to forget the ones who are here.  I mourn too deeply sometimes to see the beauty in front of me, the everyday moments that are amazing, magical, miraculous.

So today, in spite of all the losses....or perhaps because of the losses, I need to remember what I have.

I need to remind myself of the miracles that surround me, like the little girl, so joy-filled that spring has finally sprung that she cannot go to the car without stopping by her slide.  Every time.  She screams if we pull her away before she gets her slide in.  Even when the slide is wet (like today).

These moments of childhood, they're what I need to pay attention to; what I need to remember:

Remember the joy too.

Stop by Clan Donaldson for more Theme Thursday and Surviving Our Blessings for your #holylens prompts (week 5 below).  Also stop by my giveaway for a chance to win an embroidered necklace from Jenna's place :)

{WWRW} and a Giveaway!

Linking up with Housewifespice for What We're Reading Wednesday.

This week, I listened to David and Goliath: Underdogs, Misfits, and the Art of Battling Giants by Malcolm Gladwell.

I'm a Malcolm Gladwell fan, and I think the best way to get into his books is to listen to them.  They are so dense and filled with insight that it's hard to wrap your head around it while reading....or maybe that's just me.  But, the real bonus of listening to his books is that he actually is the reader.

His books are author-read.  I love that.  I know every inflection is exactly as intended, because he's the one that put it there!

This book dives into complex problems and digs for understanding much the way his other books do.  If you've enjoyed a Malcolm Gladwell book in the past, you'll enjoy this one.

If you've never read (or listened to) a Malcolm Gladwell book before, prepare to gain insights into the world you'd never have unlocked alone.

The focus of this book is the unexpected, yet proven, phenomena of the underdog winning.  His book walks through many stories of "underdogs and misfits" and shows why their behaviors and successes were not only predictable, but should have been expected.  This dive into human nature reveals a greater understanding for what the human spirit is really capable of when faced with a challenge.

I recommend this as your next read.  Be aware that the stories Gladwell discusses are sometimes disturbing, covering such topics as the loss of a child, the suicide of a parent, or the uprisings in Northern Ireland.

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And now - what I've been SO eager to bring you!  A giveaway!!!  Not just any giveaway - we're celebrating hitting 100+ Likes on my Facebook page (it's the little things, folks). 

This blog started as a journal, and is still just a place where I share my story.  That more than just my mom enjoys hearing that story and sharing in the journey is always a surprise to me.  I have gained so much encouragement from those I have met through this blog.  So, I want to celebrate all of you.  All the wonderful, wonderful people I've met and share with in this blogosphere.

And today, we're going to do it in style!  Have you met Jenna?  She's lovely.  I love seeing her posts on Facebook (which is really my way for keeping track of what people are posting).

Jenna got me in to embroidery.  She got A. LOT. of us into embroidery.

Then, she started her own Etsy shop......go over, I'll wait.....................

You're back!  How did you not go down the rabbit hole of Etsy shopping?

Well, I love all Jenna's necklaces so much, I could think of no better giveaway for celebrating my triple digits over on FB.

This beauty will go to the winner of the giveaway:

photo courtesy of Call Her Happy

You want it, I know you do.  Start entering below!  Contest ends at midnight, Central Time on April 12th!  Prize includes necklace and shipping (up to $20 value).

*NOTE: Comments appear after moderation, so don't worry if you don't see it right away! =D

a Rafflecopter giveaway

I'm Thankful - If a Little Cranky

I've really been struggling this week.  I'm 3 blood draws in, with about a half dozen to go.  These blood draws will serve to map out all my hormones and be evaluated by the Creighton doctors for hormonal imbalances.  The hope is that any imbalances can then be corrected and I'll be in a place of normal fertility and then babies!

Over the last two weeks of appointments, prescriptions, and now blood draws, I've recognized in myself that I'm on edge; cranky to be honest......witchy to be even more honest.

I am struggling with the intellectual balance of knowing something as good, and finding joy (or at least peace) in carrying it out.  I'm just in a bad mood.....constantly.  The blood draws are tedious, the taking of daily prescriptions and supplements is annoying; I'm just aggravated. 

I recognize the potential for great good in these actions, but I'm just so worn thin.  After seven years of low fertility and loss, I'm so tired of swimming upstream.  Yet, every time I think to quit kicking, I remember something Fulton Sheen said, "dead bodies float downstream".

So, as I struggle to embrace a swim upstream, I wanted to share some moments I'm thankful for.  We finally had a break in the weather and March went out like a lamb yesterday (we're back to cold today, April Fool's from Mother Nature!).

My jog yesterday:

Short sleeves!

My running path - the local college two blocks away

I ran up here - this picture was really just so I could catch my breath

See, that's why I was breathing hard - 5 stories!

A much better view than city streets

Is there a planetarium on your route?

How about a giant uphill bridge?

I love to be outside when the weather is nice.  It was so wonderful to spend some time outside.  It was balm for my crabby soul.

Stop back tomorrow for a giveaway to celebrate 100+ Likes on my Facebook page :)