Walking in the door, I set down my purse and stare at the pile of papers I still need to sort. Later, later I will.
First, a moment here with you. To share the hardness and joy of this special path God has me walking.
How could I have known I would stand in this place? It's so humbling and so heartbreaking all at once. Humbling in the blessings constantly raining down on me, heartbreaking for those few most precious drops falling just out of reach.
When I found out I was pregnant last month, I had this imagery of sitting at the feet of God in overwhelming gratitude at a blessing beyond understanding. When we gave that baby back to God less than two weeks later, I was humbled in a different way, by different blessings.
I feel more profoundly wrapped in love and grace than I've ever experienced. It's still a hard and heart wrenching path, but I'm in awe of the love and kindness poured out in front of me.
Just when I thought I was coming to a place in life where I had something more to teach, something more to give, I'm reminded of what a blessing it is to be a gracious receiver.
Every sorrow refines my soul, and the suffering burns compassion into my heart.
As I look into the face of another mother awaiting the day she will meet or see once more the face of her child in heaven, I see her more clearly than before. My sorrow can speak to hers, "I know you sister, I see you. I wait with you."
This road of life is hard, and suffering will meet us along the way. Take heart, sister, you do not walk alone.
For more reflections from women on varying stages and places in their fertility journey, I invite you to join us at Waiting in the Word.