We haven't seen our sweet girl in two years. It's now been as long without her as we had with her. How could it be? A lifetime ago and the blink of an eye.
Today will be one of the hard days. But, two and a half years later, the hard days are further apart and fewer. On Tuesday, I cried in the shower. I cried for our broken world and a broken foster care system. I cried for her father's choice to cut us out of her life six months after she transitioned to him. But mostly I cried because I want to hug her, see her, hold her. Tell her that I never stopped loving her.
Never. Yesterday, today and forever.
I dream of a day I will see her again. A day where I give her the precious baby clothes she wore that I've saved. Where I can show her the photo albums from her earliest days with us. Show her that her picture hangs on our wall.
Because she is a part of our story, as much as we are a part of hers.
The gift of time is slowly learning that there is still more story. Our lives have more chapters to be written. For so long, I lingered on the final pages with her.
Today, I honor her birthday by living fully in this new chapter. In this new home, leaving behind the little house where we shared our lives with her.
Moving on to new adventures and dreams. All the while, thanking God for the 5 lb little miracle that came into our lives five years ago.
Happy birthday sweet girl. I love you.