Thursday, October 8, 2015

Say Hello to Your Sister

I should be preparing a fifth birthday party. But I'm not. 

That baby died. At seven weeks gestation in utero. As part of the grieving process, the baby was named Mara. 

Last week, I crashed my car into a deer. As I talked with my oldest about the power of guardian angels and how an impact with a compact car and a buck could have been completely catastrophic, she said something that stopped me in my tracks, "Well, if we had died, I would have gotten to meet Mara."

She thinks about the missing sister. It is ever-present in her mind that her whole family does not live with her here on earth. And with the faith of a child, she understands that we're on our journey home to be with Mara. 

Maybe we're having a hard time with long division, but if she keeps her eyes on Heaven, I'm counting this parenting thing as a win. 

My girls will never all be together completely until Heaven, but on the day of L's first communion, we talked about the communion of saints - and what that meant for her family. 

Mara is a holy innocent, sitting at the foot of Jesus. When we receive Jesus in the Eucharist, that's the closest we get to Heaven here. 

In that moment, I say hello to her. 

When L received her first holy communion, I told her, "say hello to your sister."  

With tears in her eyes, she turned from her reception and I knew she had. 

In the years since, we've talked about it occasionally, but as we approach what would have been a birthday, I'm struck all over again by the grace I find in the communion of saints. United in prayer, and for that moment of Communion, both sitting together with Jesus. 


  1. This is so beautiful. That is what I strive to have in my life--that innocent, trusting, childlike faith that your daughter has. How extraordinary that her very first thought was that she would meet her sister!

    Your faith is inspiring--and your daughter is modeling her mother. God bless you both!

  2. Your little ones will remember their sibling forever. I have adult friends who still refer to the sibling their parents lost at whatever stage. It's heartwarming to think about that, especially considering the loss happened so many years ago when people didn't talk about miscarriage or stillbirth as openly as they do now.


I welcome positive, supportive sharing in this community. God bless!