7 QT: Wendell Berry and the Given Life

Franciscan Media provided a book for my review.  All thoughts are my own.  Links are non-affiliate.

In July, my parents invited my family to head to Michigan with them for the week.  One night, we all went out to dinner together and my mom told me a story about my great-grandparents.

On the end of a dirt road sat an old homestead.  Only the stone foundation remains.  There, my great-grandparents lived and worked, making their life in tune with their land, a very Wendell Berry kind of life.

As times changed around them, they remained as they were, an outhouse and no electricity.  Finally, the electric company needed a place to run their lines and needed a piece of the old homestead to do it.  In return, they would provide electricity to the house.

One lightbulb.  My great-grandparents had one lightbulb installed, because as my mom tells it, anymore would have been just too frivolous.

I've been rolling this around in my head.  I don't know how many lightbulbs I have in my house.  As I feel my moral superiority for keeping the air conditioning off on an 80 degree day, I'm reminded, I'm not all that connected to my surroundings.

With this trip on my mind, I picked up my newest read from Franciscan Media, Wendell Berry and the Given Life.

Seven thoughts on this book:

(1)  This is a book club kind of book.  You'll want to talk about it with your friends.  You'll want to tease out the complexities and thoughts.  It's so packed with big thoughts, big ideas, big dreams for what our lives can be.

(2)  If you love Wendell Berry, you probably need this on your wishlist.  This is a structured and thoughtful breakdown of his thoughts and ideals.

(3)  If you, like me, are having a hard time with the mid-30's angst of all the big questions:

 - Where am I going in my career (or relationships or life in general)?

 - Is this what our family looks like forever?

 - Will we have any more big adventures? 

The concept of the given life, rather than the built life is a kind a spiritual salve.  Just soaking into the first chapter felt like a deep breath from my center, pulling loose some of those tightened anxieties.

(4)  "...to be at rest is to fit in the place you are meant to be, to accept and work well within the confines of creatureliness." pg 21

This reminded me very much of the common phrase, "Bloom where you're planted."  My constant struggle is wanting more, to do more, to go for more.  The thought that sometimes, I may need to stop and evaluate if I want more for the more, or more as I grow into who I am meant to be.

(5)  "We must achieve the character and acquire the skills to live much poorer than we do." pg 29

There have been times in my life where my first thought upon reading this would have been, "Ummmm, I'm poor enough, thanks very much!"  I remember doing the poverty food challenge with my family one year where we lived on what the average person would get on food assistance and I literally changed nothing about my meal planning.  

Certainly others have more extreme versions of poverty.  I've always had the blessing of a clean home and more than enough to eat, even if it was beans and rice.  

But, the reality of today is, I do have more than I need.  And it's a challenge I need to embrace to live more simply, to be poorer in my living so I can be richer in my giving.

(6)  "There seems to be something in the human condition that is restless unless formed in stability." pg 77

I was formed in the most stable environment you could imagine.  My parents are rocks that have been married 43 years this November.  Still, I struggle with an internal wanderlust that will never quiet.  Within the bound of my own stable surroundings with my husband of 13 years, I seek constant change.  The color of my walls, the pillows on my couches, the rooms each of us sleep in, the arrangement of the furniture, I crave change, need it, can't breathe without it.  

(7)  Not every thought resonated with me, but I felt like there were good thoughts to turn over, to pull apart, to examine.  I'm not going to leave my lightbulbs behing (sorry Great-Grandpa Dockery!), but I'm thinking about what we could grow in our yard.  I'm slowly transitioning to buying meat from local farmers, rather than the grocery store.  

Little steps, thoughtful moves, doing what I can in the live I have been given.  Which isn't on acreage, but it is on a yard with enough room for some carrots and potatoes.  Not every piece of a Wendell Berry life will fit into your life or my life.  But, we can take the pieces that fit.  We can pick up our little pieces of land and grow some tomatoes on our balcony.  We can rejoice in nature around us.  We can plan our errands thoughtfully to conserve gas.  Little pieces, little steps, more thoughtfulness.

This book is available in hardback, Kindle, audiobook and CD.  If you read it, or have read it, I'd love to pick your brain.  

Stop back over to Kelly for more Quick Takes!

7 {QTs} Way to Make Yourself Crazy TTC

You know what I'm thinking about right now?  Not much besides that long, long wait between ovulation and the next cycle.  Because when you're Trying to Conceive (TTC), that wait of a few days before the next cycle is approximately three months long in emotional/mental energy.

So, here are seven ways I'm making myself crazy this week....because after 8 years(!) of TTC, I'm actually, really, really good at pysching myself up/out.

So, come join me in the crazy.....because before now, you probably thought I was such a sweet, normal mom who said sweet, heartfelt things.  Nope, certifiable.

Does the crazy show in my eyes?  I thought so.

{1}  Go to this site.  Type in the info, obsess over when you can take a pregnancy test.

{2}  Read all the messages on every one of the fertility groups you follow. 

{3}  Worry about morning sickness on your overseas work trip (insert your summer plans here) that's already been planned.

{4}  Then worry about fertility injections and the logistics thereof for said trip if you're not expecting.

{5}  Review your charts.  A lot.

{6}  Internalize and review every symptom....from that last meal you ate and how it made you feel to the weird stomach spasms to the seasonal allergies.  It's all trying to tell you something! (Like maybe you need some medicine and a nap, but still!)

{7}  Keep it all in.  Don't tell anyone that your mind is going in circles.  Because really, people shouldn't know that you're quite as crazy as me!

For all of you TTC'ers, just know, the mental Olympics you're playing is a game we all play, you're not actually crazy and my truest recommendation is schedule stuff to do that'll keep you busy....or at least marathon watch something on Netflix, Amazon, or Hulu :)

I'm off to do some work this afternoon, then I've got to finish up the Father's Day plans.  Tomorrow includes the Farmer's Market and if I get really desperate for activities, I might actually clean my house, which is in a sore state since I've had a cold and felt yucky all week.

The other best thing you can do is call/text your friend and tell her you've gone to the crazy place.  She'll be super-sympathetic to your craziness, even when she's sitting in the doctor's office for her kiddo's check-up.  (Thanks C!)

And whatever the outcome, I'm sure once my head clears of sinus pressure, everything will seem a little sunnier :)

Linking up with Team Whitaker who are hosting this week's 7QTs.

{7QTs} Books, Blog Posts, and Getting Me a Banana Suit!

Linking up with Conversion Diary for another dose of 7 Quick Takes:



{1} I need a banana suit.  Jen is giving one lucky blogger one:




{2}  I'm loving Something Other Than God!  I'm about halfway through it, and I'm already trying to figure out what the non-awkward way of giving it to family and friends who are questioning the faith.....IS there a non-awkward way?  Lemme know if you think of it, because I'm seriously considering a bulk order. 

That gift card would buy me 2 more copies of Something Other Than God - just saying.

{3}  Speaking of SOTG - I was a little irritated to wait a couple days past the release to get my pre-order, but after hearing how early Micaela pre-ordered and that she still didn't have it, I feel like I should maybe be binge reading my copy.  But, it's so good, I want to read it thoughtfully.  I'm finding particular pieces staying with me as I go about my day, and I'm enjoying mulling them over.

Although I am hiding out a bit more to get some reading in.

Don't rat me out - k?

{4}  Have you ever had one of those moments when you've cringed about pushing the "Publish" button?  Fumbling Towards Grace had one of those moments that she shared with us, and I'm so grateful she did.  It was beautifully written and reminded me of where I fit into a more peaceful, more loving world - because I do, we all do.

{5}  Then I hit "Publish" myself on something that seems to have hit a few people square in the heart.  No greater honor as a blogger than sharing something that feels a little scary and difficult and finding that God used those words to speak to someone's heart.  A few of my fellow bloggers shared the post, and it's now gone my version of viral - with nearly 10x the views as an average post.  So incredibly humbled that I was used as an instrument to say something that mattered to so many.

{6}  Do you know Kelly?  She has one of the best senses of humor ever.  Go dig around on her space, and start with the really strange costume.  Maybe she needs the banana suit more....

{7}  And now, are you ready to be totally annoyed at yourself for having succumbed to curiosity and listened to this?  Do it! Click on it!  My girls and I rock out to this in the car on our satellite radio.  While you watch it, picture a 30-something mom and two girls dancing at the stoplight next to you. 

*Note*  If shaking gummy bear butts offend your sensibilities, avert your eyes at 1:02 and 2:18....or just listen while you surf other things. 

You're welcome for the brain rot!  Have a wonderful weekend - special prayers for all those making a First Holy Communion this weekend, and all the mamas frantically preparing for such festivities!

Now, go stop by Jen's!

{Theme Thursday} Hear {7QTs}

Linking up - a day late - with Cari over at Clan Donaldson for Theme Thursday and Jen over at Conversion Diary for 7 Quick Takes.

 

  

 

I was all on-board with Cari when she said the prompt for Thursday was "word" over at the #holylens project.  I have no excuses of influenza either, I just have a hard time keeping track of the date.....so much so that I write the Mondays on my Creighton chart and then am gently chastised that there's not supposed to be anything "unnecessary" on the chart.

Well, thinking about "word" got me thinking about my word of the year.  I never really picked one in January.  I was in some serious grieving, and I thought perhaps the word should be "good-bye", but after this week, I think the word I needed to hear (see what I did there, oh yes you did, you're so witty you caught my not-so-subtle play) was "detachment".

I never would have gotten to this word without homeschooling.  Why?  I'll tell you, in 7 Quick Takes about why we homeschool:


{1}  For our family life. 

Hubby works a Tuesday-Saturday week.  When Little Bean was in 2nd grade and I had two babies under 1 in the house, we sent her to the local Catholic school.  Hubby and Little Bean rarely had any meaningful time together.  Sunday is a day we go to Mass together and visit extended family.

We either had to give up our visits with our extended family or homeschool so Little Bean could spend more time with Hubby (and we could all spend time as a family).  We chose to homeschool (again).

Ashley Jane Photography

{2}  For Little Bean's childhood.

She went to 3 y/o preschool and I was shocked by how fast the other kids were growing up.  No little girls should be having cat fights and complaining about their appearance in preschool.  Seriously.  No.

Others have found different solutions to the drama of small children together, we chose to bring Little Bean back home for 4 y/o preschool to "test out" homeschooling.  We love it.

I believe we are providing a solid education (LB's year of school confirmed that she's ahead of the curve) and our daughters have friends both within our neighborhood and within our homeschool community.  I am confident in my ability to advocate for my children and seek out their best education and path in life.  My goal is to get my children to Heaven.  They might also go to Harvard, but that's not the priority.  Good, kind, considerate people with a strong work ethic and strong morality...that's my definition of success.

Ashley Jane Photography

{3}  For Sibling Relationships.

Little Bean and Sweet Pea are very close.  They're also separated by 7 years.  Their relationship is beautiful, and while it would still be sweet and lovely were LB gone all day, the amount of time they spend together brings out qualities that might not otherwise be there.  Patience and compassion are stretched to new limits when SP is being a turkey, and SP is one of the most verbal toddlers I've ever been around.  It benefits both of them.

(4}  For Friends.

Weekday playdates - during the middle of the school day.  My favorites.  I love meeting my friends at the local children's museum, or visiting at each others houses for lunch and visiting.  Not only are SP and LB getting some great play time and building friendships, I am getting some great talk time and building/strengthening friendships as well.

{5}  For Community.

Our homeschool community is amazing.  I homeschool within this cocoon of sweet, wonderful families.  Families who brought me meals and celebrated with me when SP was born.  Families who brought me meals and mourned with me when we lost Mara.  And again when we lost Sweet Baby.

We go to Mass together, we celebrate holidays together, we learn together.  In my homeschool community, I've found beautiful pieces of past generations, where women mentored each other, brought each other meals and sharpened and inspired each others faith.  It's still happening today.  Just never where I would have found it without homeschooling.

{6}  For Me. 

I like being around my children.  I like being around them all day.  Sometimes I seek some alone time or time with friends when Hubby is home, but, I don't feel burdened by the presence of my children.  (Although I'm really looking forward to a couple years from now when LB can hold down the fort while I make a quick milk run!!)

I'm the kill-joy who is upset by those back-to-school commercials showing the happy parents dancing at the bus stops.  I know it's supposed to be an exaggerated joke, but I don't really think it's funny.  They're going to be gone so soon.  LB is already halfway out the door this summer when she turns 9.  I am so grateful that I have the option and ability to homeschool so that more of those hours between now and then can be accounted for in my presence.  I just love being with them.  They're some of the coolest people on the face of the planet, and someday, they're going to be living out on their own, and my turn will be up.  

{7}  For Faith.

Over the years, I've attended some women's studies in our homeschool group.  They have been so inspirational in how I live my daily life, interact with my husband and children, and express my faith to the world at large.

One of the things that has been profoundly impactful of late is practicing a spirit of detachment.  To let go of my own fears and anxieties to go out and be gift to the world.  The Holy Spirit is working in me through homeschooling, and the community we've built through it.  My ears have been opened so I could hear that word that I needed.  Especially this year.  We're still reeling in some ways over our grief, in others, we're moving forward.

I believe detachment will be a key piece in that puzzle this year.  Practicing a firm trust in God's will and laying down my wailing and gnashing of teeth over each bump in the roller coaster of finding a way to build back up a relationship with Sweet Baby and her new family.  Detachment.  That was the word I needed to hear.  The practice I need for the next steps in my journey.  A word I found through prayerful reflection with other holy women.  A gift of homeschooling.  Just one of the many gifts.

That beautiful, restful little ear, ready to hear God's word

I know not everyone is able to homeschool.  I know not everyone wants to homeschool.  I know not every family is called to homeschool.  I am so grateful that our family is able.  I feel called to raise my children this way.  Some days, I'd definitely like to send them all out the door.  We take that decision one year at a time, and we're open to that answer changing.  We're open to our children having different schooling needs.  In every day though, I feel the decision for me to work less and be present more has served our children better than the bigger house and nicer clothes we've had to pass up.

Thanks for stopping by and reading how homeschooling has blessed our lives.

And a bonus take - happy 36th birthday today to Hubby!

You Have Enough {7QTs} {7 in 7}

Recently, I've been thinking a lot about how much an average person perceives is necessary in terms of financial resources to have additional children.  *Hint: you don't need as much as you think*

Of course, we are called to be prudent, but there is a delicate tension in that we are also called to trust.  Holding the tension of these two opposing forces and discerning God's will for your family - that's where we need to live.

I have two children, not by choice.  By choice, I would have at least three or four more....even if it meant I had five or six kids in this tiny little house of mine (2 bedroom, 1 bathroom, 800 sq ft with an additional 400 sq ft in a semi-finished basement rec room I made myself this winter).  I'm working on my fertility challenges, even in this humble abode.

Here, 7 reasons you should stop looking at your checkbook and start looking to God's will:

{1}  You Don't Have to Pay for College, Seriously

I know many parents worry about the ever-increasing college expenses.  How will they ever pay for X number of tuitions?  You won't.  You don't have to.  It's not your job to only have as few children as you can set aside an extra $100,000 for. 

Now, I'm saying this as the third of nine children who paid for her own education....both a bachelor's and a master's.  I'm not horribly in debt.  In fact, I started my master's a couple years after I finished my bachelor's.  The month I started was also my last payment on my bachelor's student loan.  I have about $4500 left on my master's that I earned in 2010.  I could pay it off faster, but it's tax deductible.

Raise children who are hard workers, who are diligent, who are enterprising.  Send them to community college first.  Help them find scholarships.  Set aside whatever you can now, even if it's not going to be much more than books and fees for them someday.  Offer what assistance you can when they get there.  Or maybe they're actually called to be a plumber, mechanic, hair stylist, or some other profession that supports our world, but doesn't require a gazillion dollars in training. 

{2}  Your Kids Will Get Enough

I didn't ever have all the latest and greatest technology and toys as a kid, but you know what?  I had people to play with.  And I remember vividly the Christmas my parents ordered my brother the very first Nintendo.  We got stuff, not all of it, but enough for a magical, fun childhood.

{3}  You Don't Have to Have All the Patience

Patience is a muscle, it needs frequent practice.  Can't imagine yourself with X kids?  Well, so long as you aren't expecting multiples, it's a safe bet you've got some time to work up to it.  God doesn't seem to give me much extra of any virtue....I have to learn it through slow, painful lessons.  Patience takes time, but so does pregnancy (or adoption).

{4}  You Don't Need a Mansion

More space is helpful, but it's not a necessity (in most cases).  You are creative and a problem-solver.  You can do it....and there's a ton of other families who have laid out roadmaps if you need them.

{5)  Your Kids Would Rather Have a Sibling Than a Pony

They just might not realize it until they're adults.  But seriously, I have eight siblings and more than half are married.  I have almost 30 immediate family members.  Most of my siblings live within a short drive (less than 1 hour, most less than 20 minutes) of me.  Two of those siblings moved back from across the country just to be closer to family.  Sunday dinners are awesome in these parts.

{6}  Your Nursing Home Odds Go Way Down

Okay, maybe you'd like to live in a place of peace and quiet without people bothering you.  But that's just because right now you haven't had a solitary bathroom break in six years.  Someday, all those people will make sure you're well cared for....and even if that care means a nursing home is your best option, you'll have way more visitors to break up the monotony of jello.

{7}  Your Kids Are Pretty Awesome

Admit it, you make amazing people.  This goes for the ones you've adopted too....nurture versus nature?  Both and.  Who you are will make the people you nurture awesome.  And the world needs more awesome. 

Stop by Jen's for more 7 Quick Takes.

{7QTs} Plopping, Sleeping, and More

Linking up with Jen over at Conversion Diary!



 {1}  I'm trying out plopping after Jenna shared a post on Fine Linen and Purple about it.

Those hairs I didn't tuck in all the way are probably going to look weird

It's been in about 15 minutes and I'm going to take it out for the last take, because, really, if it takes any longer than that, it's not something I'll do regularly.  I'm a wash and wear kind of gal...I've surrendered to a wilder-than-usual mane and made my piece (mostly) with it.

{2}  I took about six photos before I got one I was willing to post.  Why?  They don't look that much different, they're all still me.  Maybe those Amish have something to it with the no pictures, just one more way to make ourselves a little crazier.  For instance, I'm now wondering if perhaps my left eye (right in pic) isn't bigger than my right....and someone remind me of this picture the next time I'm considering a new hair cut and can't figure out what face shape I have!

{3}  I'm a world class sleeper.  Time was, I probably could have medaled in it.  But, the last couple months, I CANNOT sleep.  I don't drink caffeine all day, I avoid naps so I'm tired, I exercise, I eat pretty well, but still, I go to bed exhausted and I'm up several times a night, just up, looking around, not to go to the bathroom or anything, just laying there in bed, staring at the walls.

My only thought is perhaps it's to do with the loss of Sweet Baby.  Did anyone else experience insomnia with a loss?  Or am I going crazy?  Or are my sleeping days over? 

{4} My Creighton book says something about insomnia as PMS symptom, but mine is a little more constant.  And speaking of Creighton, I'm going to schedule an appointment to see the Creighton Fertility specialists.  After charting and reading, I think there is something going on that might have a solution.  I'm anxious about making the appointment, going to the appointment, and what we'll uncover, so please keep me in your prayers.

{5}  As a result of learning the Creighton model, I bought Simcha's book and loved it.  So much so, I'm thinking of giving away a copy in celebration when I finally hit my first 100 "likes" on my Facebook page (small accomplishments are still accomplishments!).  I'm only 10 away....it could happen :)  What do you think, would people be interested in such a prize?  Or has everyone already purchased their amazing copy?

{6}  Speaking of giveaways, I'm having one right now (ends Wednesday, Feb 26th) for a CD with a talk by Dr. Allen Hunt.

{7}  Okay, taking off my weird turban-esque do to see what happened (to the credit of my 8 y/o, she walked out of the bathroom to see me sporting my shirt on my head and said not one word....we're cultivating personal style/creativity in these parts!)

Here's the first picture I took:

Then I noticed that my husband's dresser was piled with all the folded clothes that have yet to be put away.  So I took six more, of course, and here's what I got:

The verdict?  My hair looks like this when it air dries.  After the shower, I squeeze out excess water and add mousse, crunch it up and leave it alone...then this happens.  (Thanks for the genes Mom and Dad!)  After I removed my turban, I flipped my hair upside down, scrunched it and then took a picture....or seven.  I might try this a couple more times to see if wrapping it differently helps, or maybe the point is for it to dry faster?  I think this might be great for someone with thick/heavy wavy/curly hair.  The tutorial says something about the negative effects of gravity on the curls.  Since I've had children, I have very fine, fine hair (which is unusual for redheads, usually we have fewer, but thicker hairs) so I'm not really fighting gravity more than my mousse can manage.  I do like however, that my hair was out of the way while drying and it seems to have dried faster.

Try it and let me know what happens to you!  I'm about to go out in a wind storm to take my kids to the museum, so this is the last it won't look like a rat's nest!

{7QTs} All About the Birthday Boy/Guy

Today, my oldest nephew turns 13!  He's the guy who made me an aunt.  I remember exactly where I was standing when I found out my sister-in-law was in labor.  I remember driving straight to the hospital from the local community college where I worked/attended classes.  I sat with my brother (who had the panicked look appropriate for every first-time father) and my sister-in-law.  I remember my sister-in-law's mother handing me my brother's car keys (pretty sure that was the only time I ever got to drive his little sports car).  Since the baby was four weeks early, not everything was quite ready - I ran and filled my brother's car with gas and picked up some supplies from their house.  In honor of his ever-approaching journey to manhood, here are 7 QTs on this kid (not so much a kid anymore).


1.  Always ready to lend a helping hand

2.  A little more laid-back than his younger brother these days....

3.   Still not too cool to carve pumpkins with his family (but he drew the line at a costume this year)

4.  Always the one holding a baby (nice face Little Bean)

5.  This perhaps says the most about his heart...this wasn't prompted

6.  Always ready for a game

7.  We're all so blessed to have him as part of this crazy crew

Happy birthday to one of the best young men I know.  Visit Jen for more quick takes.

7 New-to-me Blogs {7QT}

With all the link-ups going on lately (Dwija had a big party at her place), I found some great new-to-me blogs this week....I'm probably exceedingly late to the party, but here are seven bloggers I'm looking forward to getting to know this year in the written word:

{1}

Domestic Apologist:  Catholic mama of two, living out her calling in Washington.

{2}

A Woman's Place:   Catholic mama, Etsy shop owner, recently weathered Christmas without electricity.  From my ancestral stomping grounds of Michigan.

{3}

Everything to Someone:  Her blog is named after a wonderful G.K. Chesterton quote....what's not to love?  Plus, she takes beautiful pictures!

{4}

Barefoot and Sometimes Pregnant:  This one gave me a sense of deja vu....probably because I follow along at her sister's blog :)   This mama is expecting in June and blogs about homeschooling, celebrating liturgically and her life in general.

{5}

We Make This Look Good:  With a title like that, how could I not click the link-through?  Mother of special needs children with a delightful sense of humor.

{6}

 Heart Hearth:  A couple of blogging mamas.  If you do nothing else on this site, check out the pictures of Jenn's daughter's hair here!

{7}

Ardent Devotion:  A young blogger with beautiful pictures and that young zest for life (I sound one hundred....feel slightly younger).

Check out Conversion Diary for more 7QT!

7 Quicks Takes with a late {Theme Thursday} Dreaming

Yesterday was rough and I didn't blog.  The night ended with me cradling my sobbing 8 y/o who was asking why we couldn't have "just one more Christmas" with Sweet Baby......luckily I had my fit of sobbing Wednesday night, so I was a little more able to deal with hers.  After coming home from the hospital on July 18, 2011 as a newborn, the case will close on Sweet Baby today and she will be in her father's custody.

It is a difficult and heartbreaking time for us, made sweeter by the love of so many around us.

So, in honor of a belated Theme Thursday with Clan Donaldson and making it quick with Conversion Diary, here are 7 dreams I'm grateful for this Christmas:

{1}

Hubby's graduation in 2010

This guy.  I'm grateful for him.  When I was young, I knew I wanted to be married and raise a family, I just had no idea that I would be so very blessed to spend my life with a man as caring, thoughtful and selfless as this guy.

{2}

This girl.  She made me a mom and she's one of the coolest kids I know.  I've had friends tell me she's an advertisement for having kids, which is probably the best compliment I've ever gotten.

{3}

Easter 2010

This house.  Be it ever so humble, there's no place like home.  It is filled with love and laughter.

{4}

This job.  I work from home, sometimes I work as a trainer in a building, but most of the time, I'm with my kids, working around their schedule.  Sometimes I don't work at all, some times I work up to 30 hours in a week.  I get a little money to fix up our house and lots of time with our kids.  So very very blessed.

{5}

This girl.  This is a dream I thought for six years of secondary infertility wouldn't come true.  Her middle name is Hope to remind me that God is bigger than my doubt.

{6}

This relationship.  Never has a little sister been more treasured.  In her earliest moments, Little Bean prayed for the safety of Sweet Pea while I was undergoing hormone shots to maintain my new pregnancy/baby's life.

{7}

The last 2 years, 5 months and 29 days with this girl.  Sometimes, the dream ends and you have to wake up, but I'll never stop being grateful for this dream.