Today You Are Five

Today, Sweet Baby turns five. I thought I would be buying her kindergarten uniform, brand new crayons, a backpack with matching lunch box, her favorite toys, a new bike.  But, I'm not.

We haven't seen our sweet girl in two years. It's now been as long without her as we had with her.  How could it be? A lifetime ago and the blink of an eye. 

Today will be one of the hard days. But, two and a half years later, the hard days are further apart and fewer.  On Tuesday, I cried in the shower. I cried for our broken world and a broken foster care system.  But mostly I cried because I want to hug her, see her, hold her. Tell her that I never stopped loving her. 

Never. Yesterday, today and forever. 

I dream of a day I will see her again. A day where I give her the precious baby clothes she wore that I've saved. Where I can show her the photo albums from her earliest days with us. Show her that her picture hangs on our wall. 

Because she is a part of our story, as much as we are a part of hers. 

The gift of time is slowly learning that there is still more story. Our lives have more chapters to be written. For so long, I lingered on the final pages with her. 

Today, I honor her birthday by living fully in this new chapter. In this new home, leaving behind the little house where we shared our lives with her. 

Moving on to new adventures and dreams. All the while, thanking God for the 5 lb little miracle that came into our lives five years ago. 

Happy birthday sweet girl. I love you.

Sweet Pea Turns 3!

June 6th was SP's 3rd(!) birthday. 

We celebrated the birthday festivities at Mount Olympus in Wisconsin Dells. 

Road trip to the Dells!

LB taking a turn on the giant swings. 

That face totally captures how Hubby feels about spinning in circles :)

SP was big enough to ride some of the rides by herself this year!

Vacations require selfies :)

I drew the short straw for the teacup-type ride. 

I got to vacation wth these cool people!

At the end of our first day. 

They were pretty in love with the bunk beds.  Epic hotel room - 4 beds (bunk bed and 2 queen sized beds) for less than $200/night including park admission. 

Our side of the room :)

Their beds immediately became a fort. 

LB was tall enough to drive the big go karts this year! Six more years until driving is an every day deal :)

This one is still a ride-along. 

We're a little worried about her driving. 

After a drive - she was pretty happy with herself. 

Gave Hubby his Father's Day present early so they could sport them around the park. 

I told her we were going to ride - this was her reaction. 

Mandatory trip to Paul Bunyan's. 

She ate a TON!

On my birthday, we wore coordinating shirts (my bday is June 5). 

Bagels and cream cheese are her very favorite - especially with "coffee" aka hot chocolate. 

Early morning selfies. 

The first of a long line of embarrassing pre-teen moments. 

Really, the most important thing was having some birthday caffeine - mocha for the win. 

This was LB's last year being short enough for this ride :)

This was a giant trolley that - shockingly - SP was short enough to ride herself. Luckily LB went with. 

Her legs were worn out - and Hubby was complimented on this shirt. 

Out for my birthday dinner. 

Which was free-ninety-free thanks to LB telling the cashier it was my bday. We made sure to tell her how awesome that was :)

Last picture of my 2 y/o!

With the request to, "take a picture of my foot, Mom!"

After she woke to the birthday song, it was present time!

Flying off to breakfast. 

Milk is her favorite food. 

And pancakes. 

It was a great third birthday - and good news! That magic tantrum switch clicked on right on schedule. My new hashtag for her shots is #threeisathriller - because surviving this year will be a thrill! 

Three is such a mash up of tantrums of independence and awesome milestones. It's such a ride of highs and lows, it's sure to be a trip!

Why I'll Always Tell My Age

Today is my 34th birthday!!!!!!

I kind of absolutely consider my birthday a universal holiday.  I was semi-joking with my baby sister that we're entering the Royal Birthday week.  Her birthday is June 4th (hope you had a great day Pickles!), my birthday is June 5th, and Sweet Pea's is June 6th.

I've always loved my birthday.  Always.  As one of nine kids, having a day devoted to you was amazing. 

If you don't make a big deal about your kids' birthdays with things like no chores, having them pick dinner, etc, I suggest you do it.  It ranks right up there as my favorite thing about childhood.

They'll remember not having to do dishes or pick up toys long after they forget they got a new [insert toy of the year].  Promise.

While I love my birthday in a totally self-centered-it's-my-day kind of way, it's also a reminder to me every year that goes by that I've had one more year with my family and friends.  For that, I am so so grateful.

Right before my 29th birthday, you know, that one where many women start blurring the lines of actual birth year and preferred stated age, I almost died from internal bleeding (the result of an ectopic rupture).

So today, when I say I'm 34, I say it proudly.  With fine lines around my eyes that weren't there a few years ago.  With bags under my eyes that don't plump back up as fast as they used to.  With a slowing metabolism that makes it harder every year to stay fit and healthy.

I'm 34.  Thank God.  Because you know, the other option was not making it this far.  I'm so grateful for the last five years, the hard, the good, the amazing.  I got to live every bit of it.

So, in 34 more years, I hope I'm still here in the thick of things, holding grandbabies and enjoying a margarita.  With my saggy upper arms, my soft middle and three decades more worth of wrinkles.  Because this life is too amazing to not own every single year of it.

Summer Recap {Take 3}

Birthdays!

This summer totally got away from me - in keeping with the "scrapbooking" part of my blog - here are some pictures that probably only my mom wants to see, you're welcome!

This girl turned 2 on June 6th!

She's a fashionista!

 

Loves a good hat!

 

Started gymnastics this year

Went for runs with Mom

Had a serious love affair with that binkie

Doesn't care for water - but we're working on it!

Doesn't like loud noises

Her happy place

Loves hot chocolate

*Sometimes* listens at gymnastics

Checked out her first 3-D movie

Still loves hats

And the new playset Dad built for her

Her party:



 

 

 

 



 

Those boots are her favorite thing ever - when they got too small, I had to hide them away

And the most special present SP got for her birthday was a birthday buddy cousin!

My precious niece at a couple hours old