Well, today was it....LB's first day of school. She started 2nd grade after 3 years of homeschooling. It's been a hard transition for me. Honestly, it makes me feel really powerless that she's in school all day with other adults controlling when she's allowed to eat, use the bathroom, talk, have allergy medication, and all number of things. In many ways, I feel like it's failing at homeschooling that she's in traditional school this year. Having these feelings, I feel almost guilty when friends and fellow parishioners welcome us with smiles to the school year. Everyone has been exceptionally welcoming and those that we know through church or other activities have celebrated the beginning of LB's school year....so why can't I?
LB asked me if I could hardly wait for school to start. I told her, no, and asked why would she ask that? She cited the line from a holiday song, "parents can hardly wait for school to start again". I told her that I didn't feel that way; that I hoped she had a wonderful time at school, but that I would really miss not spending my days with her. It got me thinking about our last few years of homeschooling and what I envision for our family in the future. Truth is, LB going to school isn't the worst thing that could happen. I think she'll gain some skills that are only gained from being in large groups of people. She will learn that some people will not be nice and will try to take advantage of you. She will learn that some people will go out of their way to be kind to a new friend. Hopefully she will learn to tell the difference. She will learn how to operate within structure. She will learn how to play by the rules of a game she doesn't control.
It's only been one 1/2 day, so I guess I'll have to reserve judgement. I've told dh that I've paid tuition through November 15th....so we'll see :P Mostly, I'm just trying not to cry that she's going to be gone everyday. I'm wondering if other moms have felt this way when their kiddos went to school. My biggest fear is really regretting some day that I didn't give her all of me when she was growing up. For now, I'll put on a smile.....and share with everyone how very cute she looks in a uniform :)
Some pictures from our day and the last bit of summer:
 |
| A sister moment |
 |
| No paparazzi!!! |
 |
| Sweet snuggles |
 |
| Gymnastics summer camp |
 |
| New shoes for school! |
 |
| "Mom, why did you wake me up?" |
 |
| 2nd grade! |
 |
| "Stand nice for a picture for Grandma" |
 |
| "Let's take one to send Daddy" |
 |
| Lining up with friends |
 |
| Continuing the day's signature move |
 |
| Headed in for school |
 |
| "Where did Sissy go?" |
 |
| "Mom, it's too sunny to stand in front of the school!" |
By the way, LB's verdict after a 1/2 day is that she likes regular school better than homeschool, so it really is just me! We'll see how she feels after a few weeks :)
